” Girls have mustache,B?” She asks me after looking at me intently for another minute.
Of course,not.” I tell her,alarmed.
“Why don’t you shave like my dad?.” She persists.
I color a tomato red,unable to think of anything to say.
I decide to not scare anymore 4 year olds with my yeti-act and grace the thresholds of a salon…It was a particularly easy day at the salon and two women decide to take it as a challenge to find the face beneath all that facial hair…
“Ouch …. ” I scream as one lady tweezes out my yeti-hair.
“Girls have so many pains to bear.” the other lady,a nosy one tells me sagely.
“I know.But this hurt.” I shoot back.
” You be more patient.Girls be more patient.” the nosy one says.
I have half a mind to walk away ..but i persist because hair has to be conquered.
The two women keep jabbering in some north-eastern language i dont know and leave me in peace to suffer.
“You have dandruff also? Take Hair spa ,no?”the other lady tells me.
” Umm… A little.” I offer,embarassedly as i am keenly aware of a mummy-type next to my chair hanging on to my every word.
Of course,nobody wants to admit that one has dandruff.
“Hair quality no good. Very weak.You sign up for spa.30% discount.” the nosy one contributes her bit.
Now,at this point I don’t know what is irritating me more-these two women doing a balance sheet of my problems or the fact that my eyebrows were getting plucked at a very rapid rate or that the mummy-type is studiously studying me.
I want to walk out,but i cant because then i would look even more weird with one eyebrow still yeti-like.
“You can take some facial or massage,no?.Lot of tension in muscle.” nosy lady tells me.
“No.I am fine.”I insist.
” 30% discount for you.” She insists back.
“SHUT UP”I finally scream.
Mummy-type stares at me with her mouth open.The two women working on me look at me like i am PAris Hilton on the rampage.I am sure i’ll be the topic of discussion at lunch.
“What?.. I said shut up.” I elucidate.
The two women start talking in some north eastern language again.I am sure they were bitching. But presently,I have been un-yetied and I walk out to pay my bill.
I decide that i am never going to come back here.Aren’t Salon people supposed to make you feel better?.Anyway,thankfully,she didn’t make the eyebrows uneven or anything to get back at me…But i pray to god.In my next birth, let me come work at this salon and let them be my customers.Then, i’ll pluck their hair and make them scream and cringe and sell them services they don’t need.. Till then,i must carry my burning revenge inside me.
PS: Pizza courtesy Pizza Hut.